Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Therapy Bites

Here's what I have learned in therapy:

1. I must be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.

2. I value other's approval of my thinking, feelings, and behavior over my own.

3. I agree with others so they will like me.

4. I focus my attention on protecting others.

5. I believe most people are incapable of taking care of themselves.

6. I keep score of "good deeds and favors", becoming very hurt when they are not repaid.

7. I am very skilled at guessing how other people are feeling.

8. I can anticipate other's needs and desires, meeting them before they are asked to be met.

9. I become resentful when others will not let me help them.

10. I am calm and efficient in other people's crisis situations.

11. I feel good about myself only when I am helping others.

12. I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.

13. I put aside my own interests and concerns in order to do what others want.

14. I ask for help and nurturing only when I am ill, and then reluctantly.

15. I cannot tolerate seeing others in pain.

16. I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.

17. I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.

18. I attempt to convince others of how they "truly" think and "should" feel.

19. I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.

LOL. Isn't that fucking great. Apparently I am a classic codependent. And the kicker of it all is that, as a fucking codependent, I have no clue how to escape the trap. I LIKE feeling needed. I LIKE helping others. Is something wrong with that? Apparently so, as I rarely get taken care of myself. So this blog is all about me and my journey to find healthy relationships following divorce with my ex-husband, my child, my family and any new men that come my way.

1 comment:

T said...

Sweetie, we're all co-dependent in some way. Its because we think, deep down, that we're not worthy. But you are. And you will soon realize that.