Saturday, December 13, 2008

Teary

So I was honest with BECG2 last night. Told him I was feeling really bummed and resentful that he had said he was coming over, I'd fought with Pumpkinhead to get him down in his own bed (he usually spends Fridays in mine) and then showered and gotten all prepped for him to come over only to have him cancel. He was upset that I was upset because he had ton of stuff to get done for a Christmas party tonight (he is the photographer and it is his first pro gig in several years). We finally signed off and I thought we'd left it at kind of a peaceful resolution. But it's almost 1 p.m. and he hasn't called me.

I sent him an e-mail this morning saying that while I'm sorry if he thought I was over-reacting last night, I'm not sorry I told him how I felt. That is sooooo hard for me but I do not ever want to come out of a relationship again and hear a guy say, "Huh? Why didn't you ever tell me you were so upset about [blank]?" and feel like I was blindsided. I always thought I was clear. So now I'm trying to be CRYSTAL CLEAR. Then he can't say I didn't tell him.

But, seriously, am I out of line to feel like he should have called this morning? My heart hurts. And I want it to stop!!!!

2 comments:

Mike said...

It would have been nice. However if he turned down sex because of this gig tonight then his mind is not on dealing with this. Hopefully he will call when it's done with. Not giving him any excuse. If a person really cares they take care of it as soon as possible.

Dark Cloud Nine said...

(hi - ex fairy here) It's good to express when you're upset - it's necessary to let others know how you feel kudos for that! - now - what about the way he felt on Friday night?