Meditation for Saturday, October 18

Today, I will stop clinging to the painful lessons of the past. I will open myself to the positive lessons today and tomorrow hold for me. I trust that I can and will take care of myself now. I trust that the Plan is good, even when I don't know what it is.

Happy

Went with BECG2 last night to pick up his daughter. She is such a sweet girl. On the way, Bebop slept and BECG2 and I planned a romantic weekend in California in an old gold mining town with apple orchards, lakes, etc. We're going to stay at a Bed and Breakfast and just walk around the town. I am so excited. :) Now I just have to get through this weekend, with X's return and a ton of things on my plate personally and professionally.

Wrong

BECG2 finally IM'd me last night. It is a small thing but it makes me
feel good that he remembered.

This week has been insanely busy so far. I can't believe it is only
Wednesday! I honestly haven't had time to feel anxious about X's
return. I'm sure it would be there if I allowed myself to think about
it. I need to wear a snap bracelet and snap myself every time he
reacts to something. Must remember that the only emotions I can
control are my own. There are several things he may flip out over,
like garnished wages for back child support, a scratch on his truck,
the fact that his grill mysteriously "disappeared", and, most
importantly, the "shit sandwich" (BECG2's term) of my new
relationship. May snap my wrist skin into a bloody pulp....

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Daily meditation - October 15

Today I will get peaceful first and let my work and life emerge from that base.
****
Just as your earthly house is a place of refuge, Gods house is a place
of peace. Gods house has never been plundered; his walls have never
been breached.

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Empty

Darn wine bottles with thick innards. I thought I had a full glass left but, no, barely 1/3 of a glass. Darn it!!

Went to watch BECG2 bowl in his league. He said to hop on IM when I got home because he was going to send me something. It's almost midnight. Nada. Sigh... That's okay, he had a guy over looking to rent one of his rooms so maybe he's tied up with that. In a good mood today. Not letting things get me down. ;)

Loong night!

Work crisis at 4, had to cancel uncancellable plans. Crisis kept
snowballing and I am just leaving at 9. Yawn!

Progress, though. Becg2 sent me a sweet "hey sexy" Im around 6 that
cheered me and I put my foot down and left work midday for therapy.
Good session!

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Today's Meditation

Today, I will trust that I will receive all I need to get me through today. I will trust that the same shall happen tomorrow.